Some of you will remember how Mrs Colin left me
just before Christmas, to live as a lesbian in Croydon.
She returned home today, with all her belongings.
"Still here then, Colin?" she said.
"Still here," I said. I was mildly pleased to see her, even though I was busy cooking sausages in the kitchen for my lunch when she walked in, and she disturbed my meticulous preparation.
"Would you like a sausage?" I asked, just to be friendly.
"Is that a euphemism, Colin?" replied Mrs Colin, smiling.
"No, it's a sausage. Bernard Matthews Turkey & Pork variety."
Apparently, Mrs Colin only eats Quorn now.