From this position in my flat, I can watch the little blinking orange light on my wireless router, and see how it reacts to me carrying out different tasks on the internet.

A moment ago it was flashing in a distinctly agitated fashion, but now that I'm typing this post it has slowed to nothing more than an occasional embarrassed flicker.

How appropriate.


I do not like the sun.

It melts the snow, and confuses the heart.

When the sun is out - heartache and humiliation are sure to follow.


Today I sat at my desk and tried to become invisible.

It didn't work.


An acquaintance tries to make small talk by asking me if I've seen this programme or that programme.

I haven't seen either.

I say no, I haven't seen the first programme.

There is an uncomfortable silence.

I say yes to the second programme, even though I've not seen it.


While the weather is warm I have been sleeping with all my windows open.

As a result of this I feel as though I no longer live alone, but in the bosom of my neighbours. I now know when they make cups of tea, call thier children for dinner, chastise their dogs, or have lengthy and noisy orgasms.

Suddenly winter seems that much more attractive.

Alpha Male

Last week I sat down in a hurry and broke my sofa.

This was inconvenient as I do not enjoy watching TV with my knees level with my neck.

Today I have mended it with screws, and pushing. If Mrs Colin were still here I am sure she would be impressed. I may take a photograph of my screwing and send it to her - to woo her back.